Coyote: <squirming> Ow! You’re torturing me!

Me: Oh, fer pete’s sake. It’s just a brush. Stand still.

Coyote: Chris never tortures me when I stay with her.

Me: Chris isn’t responsible for your daily care. Besides, she gave you a bath. That’s torture, right?

Coyote: Yeah, but she cried the whole time she was doing it.

Me: That was you.

Coyote: <snorts> Details!

Me: Uh-huh, but let’s get them right.

Coyote: The only reason I got a bath was so I’d be clean for you.

Me: That might have originally been true, but then you leaned up against a freshly-painted wall. So it was your fault.

Coyote: Again: Details.

Me: Again: Get them right.

Coyote: By the way, food at Chris’s always comes with gravy on it.

Me: *sigh* Chris gets to spoil you because she doesn’t have to live with you. Gravy is expensive.

Coyote: You put gravy on my food last night!

Me: That was a “welcome home” celebration. You’ve been welcomed. Game over. Now, hold still.

Coyote: Ouch! Chris is ALWAYS happy to see me.

Me: Chris, Chris, Chris… Keep it up, and I’ll start comparing you to Sachi. How would you like that?

Coyote: Fine. You can start with how I’m smarter than Sachi.

Me: <teasing> Who isn’t?

Coyote: <tongue-in-cheek> I rest my case.

Sachi: Uh…hello! I’m right here!

Me: But she’s much more cooperative. And I don’t have to negotiate everything with her.

Coyote: Well, that’s my prerogative. I’m part husky.

Me: <tugging> The stubborn part.

Coyote: Hey! Don’t brush so hard!

Me: By the way, you have a vet appointment this afternoon.

Coyote: With shots?!

Me: Yep.

Coyote: <accusingly> You like torturing me.

Me: Do you have any idea how much those shots cost? And the “senior panel” tests? Old dog.

Coyote: <offended> I’m not old. I’m well-aged.

Me: Well, keep your well-aged butt still unless you want me to bite it.

Coyote: I hate when you do that.

Me: It’s all — ALL of it — for your own good. I love your all-stubborn, part-husky self.

Coyote: <huffs her disdain>

Me: Careful, or I’ll take you back to Chris.

Coyote: Yes, please.

Me: Without Sachi.

Coyote: That silly dog? <pause, then sighing> I can’t do without her, though.

Me: And we can’t do without you either. So there.

Sachi: Geez, you guys…I’m. Right. HERE!